Scott Walker’s ‘Wrecking Ball Budget’ Address

February 3, 2015  By Timothy Riley

“I come before you tonight to admit that I lied when I stated in the last debate that this budget showed a $500 million surplus. I may be stupid, but even I knew full well we were staring a $2 billion+ structural deficit in the face.

And how did we get here? This deficit and the state of our economy are the direct result of my devotion to shallow, failed, extreme right wing political and economic philosophy. You see, it turns out when you give huge tax breaks to the wealthy and corporations while raising taxes on the working poor, students, and the elderly, while taking money from those in the public sector, while starving local governments of the shared revenues that are rightfully theirs, while turning away the hundreds of millions of dollars from the Federal Government to provide our fine citizens with healthcare, high-speed internet, and high-speed rail, while enacting draconian cuts to public services and education, and on and on, well, to put it bluntly, a consumer capitalist economy goes straight to hell in a handbasket.

Photo by Leslie Peterson

But, what’s done is done, now to the future, I still believe our “American Revival” will rise from more of the ‘all for the rich and none for the rest’ policies that got us into this hell hole.

So tonight my bold vision calls not for raising any revenue whatsoever, that would be wise and logical, but those are two things I will never be.

Rather, I call for additional massive cuts to the UW System, particularly UW-Madison. Forget the fact that UW-Madison is one of the last strong economic engines in this state.; forget the fact that it is a world class institution that generates hundreds of millions of dollars in revenue from research and patents; forget the fact that access to this once great institution for our students will be further limited, and the brilliant talent that works there and our other state universities will leave for institutions where their abilities and intellect are respected and rewarded. After all, folks, the dumber you are the better I look.

Photo by Rebecca Kemble

I will institute drug testing for those in need of and currently eligible for any form of public assistance. This is unconstitutional, needlessly vilifies those in need, and will not save the state a dime, but it will distract from the abysmal failure of this legislature and my administration.

I must confess that I myself sometimes chuckle at the irony. After all, I’ve lived off the backs of the taxpayers my entire career and have given them nothing for their money. In fact, I’ve kicked them in the ass for the pleasure, and yet enough of the gullible morons continue to vote for me so why change now.

I will continue to lie, cheat and steal from what is right and good to feed what is wrong and corrupt.

You can read more about my plans at Walker/Palin 2016. Fueled by the Kochs, Rove, DeVos, Adelson, Friess, etc.

Thank you, and God Bless ME!”